I used to be a shell

May 25

So my 5 year old just accidentally ripped all the skin off my middle toe.

At least my pedicure held up!

May 24

Hoping for less chaos to tomorrow…

Soooooo much whining and bickering today, it rattles me to the core. All the yelling. All the complaining. All the foot stomping, eye rolling, lip pouting tantrums. Ugh. And then my 8 yr old tops off the night by banging his head on the fucking wall out of anger because he ‘wasn’t ready for bed.’

Am I supposed to punish him for that? I mean WTF? I never did that shit growing up. What the hell is that about?

May 23

A little early…

  1. To the fuck face coworker who’s bent out of shape because I “stole work from him.” Listen, asshole it’s not my fault that you don’t have the correct software to do the job. Just because Tampa’s management didn’t see fit to provide their “Graphics Manager” with a copy of InDesign or Illustrator is not my problem. WTF! Shame on your for gouging the budget just because you CHOSE to recreate stuff that had already been done, by me. So technically, it was you stealing work from me. You have no right to  hate me because I stole your work. But feel free to hate me because I called you out (to the entire team) for being inadequate.
  2. To the wonderful ball of fur, purring away on my bed. Thank you for gaining an entire pound and for eating and pooping out my fish sculptures. Please stop peeing in the closet?  I’ll rub your tummy!
  3. To the people who plan on sending me work tomorrow. Fuck off.
  4. To the kamikaze pebbles that bounce off the road at high enough speeds to remove paint from our Dodge Dart’s curvaceous orange bumper, please find another vehicle to smash yourselves upon. I go out of my way to avoid driving behind trucks carrying cargo or truck in general! WTF
  5. To my bank account.  Whoopsie!

May 22

5 may get his mad drawing skills from his daddy, but he gets the sculpting from ME!  

Theo loves his new food. Especially, when I make it look exactly like it smells. *gag*

5 may get his mad drawing skills from his daddy, but he gets the sculpting from ME!

Theo loves his new food. Especially, when I make it look exactly like it smells. *gag*

5 built Zoe (his daddy’s yellow lab) using Legos…. Too cute. 

During our conference today, his teacher raved on and on about his drawing ability. She hasn’t seen such skill in years! We just beamed and nodded. He’s a product of two artists, we are not surprised but we are proud!

I can’t believe my baby starts kindergarten next year. 

*sigh*

5 built Zoe (his daddy’s yellow lab) using Legos…. Too cute.

During our conference today, his teacher raved on and on about his drawing ability. She hasn’t seen such skill in years! We just beamed and nodded. He’s a product of two artists, we are not surprised but we are proud!

I can’t believe my baby starts kindergarten next year.

*sigh*

May 20

I want my two dollars!!!

…and fitty cents.

Not bad for an ‘I just pulled this out of my ass because I need to go grocery shopping’ lunch! 

I’ll try to save you some, Babe. ;)

Not bad for an ‘I just pulled this out of my ass because I need to go grocery shopping’ lunch!

I’ll try to save you some, Babe. ;)

May 13

Thank You!!!

…for all the birthday wishes! Special thanks for those who went out of their way to make us feel special today. You know who you are. I can’t tag you all cuz im exhausted and I drank all the Mojitos…

Xoxox

Birthday Dinner at Rocco’s Tacos

Birthday Dinner at Rocco’s Tacos

All is well

5 is sleeping it off. I think I need a nap now!

Make that a DRINK!!

Happy IV Sedation Day to me!

So…5 is having major dental work today and they couldn’t schedule it any other time. So instead of having birthday lunch, I’m having birthday heart palps.

They just put my baby to sleep right in my arms!!!! His little eyes were HUGE. The anesthesiologist carried him off to hook up the IV and now I have to shiver in this frigid waiting room with my ex for the next 105 minutes. Meh.

Hopefully the only thing he will remember about today is being insanely hungry, and the freezing cold 2 hour wait because the dentist was running behind. *sigh*

[video]

On this day

25+ years ago, a woman lay on a cold metal table beneath an X-ray machine. While waiting for the doctor to present the results of her ‘maternity screening,’ she caught a glimpse of the film…

Her mouth fell open in horror as she looked upon the freakish tangle of bones that was her unborn baby. She was absolutely devastated. The technician saw her reaction and whispered the most shocking, yet comforting words she’s ever heard…”don’t panic, you’re having twins.”

Happy Birthday to my other half, literally. I can’t imagine my world without you. You are the best sister anyone could ever wish for, and the best friend I have ever known. I love you!!!

And yes…we are older than ultrasounds. Lol.

May 10

[video]

May 09

Early Mother’s Day gift from 5. It’s a recycled detergent cap turned into a picture frame / planter!!!  How cute! 

He was so excited about the orange flowers. He grabbed the last ones, just for me. ❤

Early Mother’s Day gift from 5. It’s a recycled detergent cap turned into a picture frame / planter!!! How cute!

He was so excited about the orange flowers. He grabbed the last ones, just for me. ❤