May 2011
201 posts
livinginthought-deactivated2012 asked: What does your dream house look like and where is it?
Breakin' all the rules
Past bedtime, at a playground at dusk, climbin’ up the slide in my white skirt!!! Showin’ my kiddies how it’s done.
April 2011
88 posts
The End
Today was the last day of t-ball. I can’t decide what was more fun, the sideways rain or my ex chewing me out 10 ft away from other parents. Meh…at least one us left there with a trophy.
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Oh and apparently I’ve mastered driving while crying hysterically, without the kids even noticing! Kick ass.
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Today wasn’t just the end of t-ball. Shit’s looking less amicable...
So anyway...I'm up
Not even 8 min before the kiddies. I don’t know why I bothered setting my alarm anyway. My neice spent the night and she wakes up about 6:30. Also, her imitation of a pterydactle (sp?) screech is spot on.
Morning Tumblz!!
You know
…when you wake up to pee and stumble into the potty with your eyes still closed and you’re sitting there slumped over doing your thang and all of a sudden you feel a tickle on the back of your leg and there’s no doubt in your mind that it’s a gigantc hairy spider crawling up it…and so you fall off the toilet in a tizzy and squeal like a little girl only to discover...
Fuck
In less than 4 hrs I’ll have *3 little ones pouncing on my head for t-ball. Also, I will likely have a limp from all that hot ass cardio earlier. But it was soooo fucking worth it.
*sleepover
*blink*
I need a few fingers running through my hair, tucking it behind my ears…and less meowing. Go to sleep kitteh!!!
STM
Tumblr for Android sucks ask holes, I mean it sucks ass.
PS. All this time I thought the S stood for ‘sexy.’ Can you blame me? I’m blonde and well…you’re all a bunch of fucking horn dogs!
Midnight Cardio
AFFIRMATIVE. At ease gentleman.
For a minute there...
It looked like more chicks hearted my cleavage than guys! But they caught up…
I <3 Tumblr.
Love...
When you’re sitting there vibing on someone and they send you an unexpected text. <3
Worst Witness Evar
I would make a horrible EMT. I’d be the one who drives the ambulance off after forgetting to load the patient in first. Seriously. I’m that fucking blonde.
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Here I was, the ONLY person who stopped after witnessing the car in front of me getting side-swiped and I completely fail to whip out my overpriced smart phone and take pictures. W. T. F. The worst part, is that I actually...
Current Status
Witnessing some old hag crash into the car in front of me!!
Even the photographer knew
All these wedding posts are reminding me how unhappy I was with my wedding photos. The photographer I hired was very talented and the shots he took were incredibly beautiful. But I always felt that something was missing. Most wedding photos tell a story. Ours didn’t.
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Looking back now, I think perhaps the photographer saw something the groom and I could not. We were not inspiring....
Current Status
60 minutes into a heated debate with some PM (w/engineering background) who’s insisting that High Quality PDF exports (from inDesign files containing Illustrator artwork) are lesser quality than PNG exports from the same Illustrator file.
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Do not. I repeat, DO NOT try to tell me you know more about my job than I do!!! NOTHING TRUMPS VECTORS FUCK FACE!!!! You either need glasses or a new...
Hired Help FAIL
My lawn guys used to come on Mondays. Now all of a sudden they’re piggybacking our pool guy and blowing all kinds of debri and leaves into the freshly cleaned pool…just in time for the weekend.
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*sigh*
Why, hello there Phentermine
Holy fucking shit, it’s nice to meet you. Where have you been all my life?
Pissed
Tonight is dinner night with my boys. I just picked them up from their dad/grandma’s house and they absolutely REEK of cigarette smoke. On top of that, my six yr old has 13 mosquito bites!!! WTF!?!?!? I’m so pissed. I hate having to confront them…but I can’t ignore this.
Traffic
I love when I accidentally choose the lucky lane. ;)
This day is sucking hard
…harder than this fucking straw trying to collect the last few drops of my iced coffee, which is getting darker and darker every time I top it off. Soon, it will blacker than my motherfucking soul after this shit as day.
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F U C K!!!!!
Epic Laundry Fail
O M F G. I finally got motivated to wash the pile of “lights” that has been accumulating on the floor of my closet for over a week. At the last minute I threw a new shirt into the washer that had never been washed before. It was mostly light…but has some color on the bottom half. I failed to recall that the shirt was hand dyed and that the tag pointed out that it might not be...
So Sleepy
If I didn’t have to pee so bad right now, I’d totally roll back over and sleep through two more snooze alarms and make everyone in this house late for work.
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Go away Kitty! This is no time to sit on my bladder!
Parking Fail
Uhhh…nothing like being on your lunch break and getting blocked in a parking space by UPS while they unload cargo. Ugh!
Question from comedyandpoetry
Shellshokt: If you were a WMD, what kind would you be?
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This might be the coolest question I’ve ever been Tumbld. Therefore, it deserves a truthful and personal reply. My Twitter/Tumblr name is play on words, compiled of first name (Michele) and my state of mind when I created the accounts:
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*Definition of shell shock: shell shock is a military term used to categorize a range of...
WatchI <3 this.
tacolulz:
fredasaurusrex:
so I decided to participate in the cadbury egg meme. yes, I’m late. fuck you. I didn’t have any yesterday.
also, I hate videos of myself and I’ll probably take this down 2 seconds after it uploads.
Reblogging before he can delete it. Cuz it gave me a happy and I don’t want ut to go away.
Cadbury Meme Egg
Thanks to a video camera malfuntion on my phone I won’t be tempted…I mean able to demonstrate to juarezafterdarker the proper way eat a Cadbury Creme Egg. I guess there’s always next year.
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Ladies, any of you care to help with this?
WatchI just saw this…HAhahahAHAHA! Trying really hard not to think about what he did with the egg after filming.
juarezafterdarker:
HAPPY EASTER, YA BASTARDS!
I need an app...
that will jolt me awake the moment I start snoring into my phone during conference calls.
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Now, what to call it…thoughts?
Current Status
Biting the heads off chocolate covered Peeps©.
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And it was soooo worth breaking my 4wk no-sugar streak!!!! HOPPY EASTER GUYS!!
Fuck
There goes our weekend. 6 has a fever. Heading to doctor’s. now.
I could care less about Easter, it’s just that we had fun things planned with the kids today. Now we all have to split up so I can stay home with sick boy. LAME!!! I hope someone brings a Cadbury Cream Egg home for me. They’re all going to the 40th Annual Easter Egg Hunt without us.
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:(
Ahhh….so nice. I almost forgot what the guitar sounds like. (hint hint —> @jeraimee ) At least his offspring will hook me up. ;)
It's MINE!! ALL MINE!!!
Chaos…you have dominated practically every minute of my week, especially today. You’ve left me feeling defeated, exhausted, short-tempered and frustrated. Here it is 6 hours into my weekend and I still want to punch a wall. This weekend is mine bitch, and you aren’t invited. So take your muddy doggy paw prints, your freak preschool rashes, your dirty dish leaving ass and your...
I need this dog!!! →
If only he vacuumed too.
#useful dog
Nut Job
Funny how Brazil Nuts look disturbingly similar to Palmetto Bugs.
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I went to pull the sheets off the bed of my BF’s offspring (14 yr old boy) and this thing comes flying towards my face. I was absolutely certain that it was some gigantic insect attacking me, so I start hopping up and down screaming. But no. It’s just a brazil nut, leftover in his bed from a school project...
Definitely not stalking one of your facebook pages...
Well, he’s the reason I’m a Tumblr junkie in the first place. I figure he’s earned the attention. All I can think is why the hell doesn’t he post more pics of himself on here? And why the hell is he still single????
My BF just asked me to go to a burlesque prom with... →
Keep it Real
I can’t believe the turn that things have taken around here in less than 24 hours. To be honest, I’m glad people are pissed about all the fraud. It tells me that they are here for the same reasons I am, to connect and share with others…not lie and deceive. Why would anyone not be pissed about investing time or energy in supporting the dream of a fictional or delusional character? For...
Watching the Sunset Over the Apocalypse: Oh I have... →
badlucklucy:
myndilove:
We are all full of shit
We all use this space to be validated
We have significant others yet flirt and sext one another like rules don’t apply
We want to feel loved, and that’s why we come here
It’s the most basic human social need—to feel loved and accepted
The level that this space allows…
Actually, with absolutely no offense intended, I’m going to have to...
RT @jeraimee: Best. Girlfriend. Ever. @shellshokt shared this with me: Pop Tart Cat: http://t.co/JIPEdHx
Grrrrrr.
Do not make your inadequacies and lack of planning my emergency.
Karma, you win.
So apparently, yesterday’s post about my androgynous co-worker has Karma circling overhead. I just learned this chick has singlehandedly rendered a massive Illustrator useless and can’t undo her mistakes because she didn’t “notice” them earlier enough. She’s helping me on a project while my co-worker is out and the file is really complicated. On top of screwing...
The Trickle Down Effect
No, YOU just jumped over a dog and slid across the floor running to the potty because you waited to long to pee and didn’t realize it until you used the sink in the kitchen.
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The sad thing, is that I still almost peed my pants laughing over the video in that last post.
#another blonde moment
