Web Toolbar by Wibiya I used to be a shell

Nailed It!!

The floor.
With my right butt cheek.

But at least it wasn’t a direct hit to the tail bone this time. Hooray for falling correctly!!

My endurance is shit. Must buckle down and really push myself. I’m not skating enough on my own.

My kid doodled his favorite president on the iHop menu during dinner.

I present…Abraham Bacon.


This guy in our Miami office is always hitting me up with dumb questions or sending me his dumb files because he has no idea what he’s doing. He’s a marketing coordinator turned “graphic designer” and he basically sucks. He has a terrible eye for page layouts and I’m pretty sure he’s color blind.

Someone decided to give him access to the entire Adobe Creative Cloud. So yay, now he can do org charts in Illustrator or InDesign…instead of fucking PHOTOSHOP!!! 

Anyway, he just IMd me asking how to adjust the font sizes in the Adobe tool bars because they are too small. I was like Google it. When he said that he already tried that and there were no results, I was like hmmm….maybe you can’t!  Then I was like, why are you having such trouble when I am not. He tells me how he just got the new 15” laptop, which is exactly what I have. So yeah…not the issue!!

Took me 10 min to figure out that this bozo has his laptop set up center desk, as the main display…with his fucking widescreen 18” monitor OFF TO THE SIDE!!! 

Seriously? You don’t need to be a graphic designer to know that shit is dumb. I was like dude, you are doing it wrong. You aren’t USING your laptop…you are CONNECTING to it. He’s off trying to find a keyboard and a mouse now.

Practice was tough but I made progress!

Nothing like taking an entire week off from skating and then indulging in a 24 hour drinking binge in Key West the day before practice. Holy crap I was all kinds of sluggish and sloppy. I had to take a few breaks but I managed to save some reserve energy for a timed skate. I actually shaved 0:10 off my 5 in 1 laps!! I’m down to 1:06. Yay!

Special thanks to dsm-6 for all the sideline encouragement!!!


Does anyone know what happened to Chris? Looks like he deactivated. I want to stay in touch with him, if anyone has his kik or email can you inbox me?

This is what “one too many” looks like after bedside-manner cracks a funny joke. Lololol.

I was in bed 10 min later with bed spins.


Soooooo jeraimee likes the Viniqe….

Much better CHILLED

Photo bomb chug


One of us is super drunk and getting licked by the dog! WTF

That time Jer and I wrote the exact same wild card in Evil Apples…

(Mine is the one on the right).

So wow…that Evil Apples game has gotten seriously douchey overnight. Amiright?

The other night, I had some 10 year old kid playing against me in the random player mode!!

These game cards have cuss words, explicit sexual content and the ability to create your own wild cards. So there is no end to how vulgar and depraved the game can get. As if playing against a child wasn’t disturbing enough, he was absolutely obnoxious! He treated the game like a chat room!!! It was clear that he was trying to ‘make friends’. But when he lost a hand, he started cursing at us and drew a penis with text!!! What a little butthole!! Another player called him out for it, saying he looked like he was 11 and shouldn’t be playing, that’s when he corrected us to say he was only 10. WTF!? It was like 10:30 on a Sunday night!!!

So…I totally reported him. Lol. Yup, I’m officially an old hag now.

The following night, some punk messed with me during a hand. After I had won several hands in a row using wild cards (I wrote myself) HE wrote one saying ‘shellshokt’s stupid wild cards’!!! LMAO. it was kind of funny, actually but then he started telling me off in the chat. BTW, my wildcards were so ‘dumb’ that they won every hand!!! Punk.

Crazy busy week

So glad sissy is here tonight giving me a hand. We have a house guest to prepare for!!!

The good news, is that based on a recent discovery earlier this evening, I’ve concluded that I’m not actually going crazy!!  

The bad news, is that being crazy would make this situation way fucking easier to deal with. And by deal with, I mean ignore.


My 6 yo just schooled some guy with 8000 pts in Mario Kart 8. LOLOL.

Can’t stop laughing. I needed this.


I’m in a terrible funk today. I just want to hide under the covers and hide from the chaos.

Whiney kids. Bickering. Hitting. Complaining. Constant interrupting. Mess making. Play Doh exploding. Drink spilling. Throbbing coccyx bones. Muddy paw prints from one end of the house to the other less than 24 hrs after I’ve mopped.

The fucking puppy is perpetually under my feet or stalking the kids while they eat…trying to score every possible crumb of food as if we haven’t fed him in months. I’m over it. He really makes me crazy sometimes. It’s like I’m yelling at him or the kids, all day long.

I don’t know why I’m so sensitive to chaos, it’s like I can’t filter it out. I can’t even fake a happy face after a certain point. *sigh*

Things I like

4. 9. 10. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27.